7 Surprising Tips to Help Bolster Self-Confidence

Self-confidence. That often elusive, yet highly desirable trait that so many of us misplace. That’s assuming we had it all.  What Google defines as: a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.

When we have self-confidence, nothing can stop us. When we don’t, almost anything and everything can.

Why do some people have self-confidence in spades while others appear not to know even the meaning of the word?

That is the question, isn’t it?

I think it’s about time for some answers.

The Enormous Impact of Lack of Self-Confidence

When you’re full of self-confidence, you’re able to weather blows that outside influences wield against you. Without it, everything has the power to knock you down.

Does any of these characteristics sound familiar?

• You feel you don’t measure up to the abilities and skills of others.
• You believe you’re not good enough.
• You think you’re too shy, too old, too young, too heavy, too something, to succeed.
• You make excuses for your self-perceived limitations.

Lacking self-confidence stops you from pursuing the career you want. It undermines your friendships and relationships with your family. It leaves you feeling trapped.

Setting Yourself Free

Building self-confidence requires a shift in attitude and behavior.  One that will lead you to the job you want, the success you seek, the relationships you desire.

It may seem like building self-confidence is an all but impossible task. How can you change something you may not fully understand?

The good news is, there are things you can do that act to reprogram your thinking. Over time, you replace your old thinking with new, positive thoughts.

7 Tips To Get You Started

1. Be kind to yourself.

The person we tend to be the hardest on is ourselves. While we’ll counsel others to relax, give themselves a break, not be so hard on themselves, we’re terrible at taking our own advice. We’ll let everyone off the hook but ourselves.

The next time you berate yourself for something, pretend you’re talking to someone else. What advice and kind words would you offer? Follow that sound advice.

2.  Give yourself time to recharge.

Sometimes you need to recharge mentally. I know you find it hard to step back, but sometimes it’s the best action you can take. Walk away for a while. Do something else.  Even something mindless.

Breathe.

I’m sure you’ve experienced struggling to solve a problem, and then walked away for a while and came back, to find the answer plainly evident. You wonder how you missed it.

This downtime can be the best way to boost your mood.  Just be careful you don’t end up sitting on the sofa, wallowing in a marathon pity party.  Set limits to avoid overindulging.

3. Stop negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is more damaging to your psyche than you realize. It may seem harmless, but it’s corrosive. It’s all too easy to call yourself an idiot, stupid, fat, or any number of other negative phrases.

Those seemingly harmless remarks are slowly reprogramming your brain. Without realizing it, your attitude toward yourself is becoming cynical and self-deprecating.

Instead, learn the power of positive affirmations. Start every day with a positive thought about yourself. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t have to be earth-shatteringly profound. Even I make a darned good cup of coffee counts.

Start consciously thinking positively about yourself and your abilities, rather than always denigrating yourself.

Over time, it’ll get easier, bolstering greater self-confidence.

4. Surround yourself with positive people.

You’ve probably heard this phrase before: You become the sum of the five people you spend the most time around.

That being said, isn’t it important to ensure that you chose those five people wisely? You don’t have to spend time with people who drag you down and complain constantly.

No one is forcing you to remain in the company of naysayers and Negative Nellies.

Upbeat people are more open-minded, less likely to find fault with others, and are forward thinkers. They’re not only more enjoyable to be around; they can help you shift your negative thinking to a more optimistic and positive place.

Being less critical and more forgiving, not only of others but yourself as well, leads to greater self-confidence and self-belief.

5. Learn to embrace your mistakes.

Mistakes are not bad. They’re a part of the learning process. Mistakes just mean you’re trying and working toward your goals and dreams, that you’re not afraid to fall and get back up and try again.

Mistakes can be a tremendous indicator that you’re not stagnating, that you’re taking risks and working toward self-improvement.

Without mistakes, you might never reach your goals. And they’re all the sweeter for the challenges along the way.

6. Don’t let anyone else define you and your goals.

The only person who has the right to set your goals and dreams is you. No one else has the same desires or priorities.

When you try to adhere to the opinions of others and pursue goals you don’t care about, you’ll be miserable. That’s not the road to enhanced self-confidence.

Just because someone else is wildly successful at something you fail at doesn’t mean you’re lacking. It probably just means you don’t want it that badly.

So let it go.

Let those who want that particular goal chase after it. You find your way, based on your desires and priorities. Those are the only ones that matter.

7. Understand that often others have an agenda.

Often when someone is critical of you, it’s based on a hidden agenda. It could be jealousy that drives their negativity. It could be that your happiness shines a light on what’s missing in their lives.

When others regularly pick at you, as long as you’re not hurting anyone or breaking any laws, it’s their problem, not yours.

Pay little or no attention to the opinions of others. You don’t know what drives them. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.

You Can Do This

It’s not easy to gain self-confidence when you’ve lived so long without it. But it can be done. Like anything, it requires effort.

But it’s a very worthwhile effort.

Be kind to yourself.

Follow the same good advice you give others.

Stop being critical and negative.

Hold your head up. Be proud of yourself.

And over time, something amazing will happen.

You’ll slowly begin to believe it.

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